There are three traps that keep families stuck in addiction chaos.

Most of you are caught in at least one. Many are caught in all three.

Trap 1: Waiting for them to want help

You may think when they hit rock bottom, they’ll be ready. When they really want it, they’ll get help. I just need to wait for them to want it.

But here’s the thing…most people in active addiction aren’t capable of WANTING help until they start GETTING help.

Their brain is hijacked. Treatment is actually designed for people who don’t want it (yet). The wanting often comes later.

If you’re waiting for them to want help, you’re giving their disease exactly what it needs to keep growing.

Trap 2: Thinking there’s nothing you can do

You might have heard, you can’t make someone change. There’s nothing you can do.

And that’s partially true. You can’t MAKE them do anything.

But to say there’s NOTHING you can do? That’s the most dangerous lie in addiction recovery.

There are many things you could do. Many ways you might orient the family system toward recovery. But many families are accidentally doing things that feed the addiction instead. 

You have power. You just might not know where to use it.

Trap 3: Caring more about their feelings than recovery

This might feel harsh, but is it true?

You might find you care more about upsetting them than you care about their life getting better.

You may worry you’ll make them uncomfortable. You fear you’ll cause them to use more.

So you stay silent. Which enables. And you sacrifice your own peace.

But here’s the truth – their feelings about your boundaries are not more important than their life.

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Which trap resonates most with you as one that would be beneficial to start working on unwinding? Pause for a moment and notice.

Because once you see which trap you’re in, you can start to do something different.

Next post, I’m going to show you what happens when you step out of these traps.

Kate

P.S. The Dear Family method is a proven framework that shows you how to move out of these three traps and into a place where your actions actually support recovery instead of enabling the addiction. I know we all want that.