In our Stop the Chaos training, we do something that makes people uncomfortable.

We ask them to rate themselves.

Not their loved one. Themselves.

On a scale of 1 to 10, where are you in YOUR recovery from the family disease of addiction?

Most families have never even considered that THEY need recovery. They think: “I’m not the one with the problem. Why do I need to recover?”

Here’s why:

Addiction is a family disease. If your loved one is sick, you’ve become unwell along the way. 

Let me give you the 10-question Addiction Impact Assessment.

Grab a piece of paper and rate yourself honestly on each one, 1 to 10, 10 being the highest score. 

1. I understand that addiction impacts my loved one mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Do you really get this? Could you teach it to someone else? Or are you still treating addiction like a choice/moral/behavior problem instead of a brain disorder that keeps them stuck?

2. I understand addiction is a family disease and I have become sick along the way.

Can you name the ways YOU’VE become unwell? The ways you’ve changed? The ways you’ve gotten sick?

3. I know what recovery looks like and what my loved one needs to experience it.

Do you know what treatment actually looks like for this disease? The various support they need at different stages of recovery? Do you know what your loved one needs? Or are you hoping they’ll figure it out?

4. I know the stages of change and the stages of recovery.

These are clinical models. You wouldn’t know them unless you’ve studied this. Your loved one goes through stages. Do you know what stage they’re in right now? Do you know how to support someone at various stages of change?

5. I’m confident in my loved one’s ability to fully recover and have an amazing life.

Where are you on this? A 10? Or are you secretly (or not so secretly) feeling hopeless?

6. I refrain from taking responsibility for their actions and well-being.

Ouch. This one hurts. Are you making their appointments? Driving them? Waking them up? Paying their bills? Bringing them food? How much responsibility are you taking for their life?

7. I’m on a clear path of my own recovery.

Whatever that looks like for you. Are you? Or are you so focused on THEM that you’ve completely neglected yourself?

8. I’m part of a community where I receive regular support on my recovery journey.

Do you have ongoing support, education and professional guidance? Or are you trying to do this alone? (ps, this newsletter does not count as professional guidance.)

9. I feel healthy, energized, and joyful most of the time.

Be honest. When’s the last time you felt ANY of those things?

10. I live my life aligned with my values.

Are you? Or has addiction hijacked your entire value system?

Now add up your score.

The highest possible score is 100.

Where are you?

Here’s what I’ve learned from doing this assessment with hundreds of families:

Most people score between 20 and 40 the first time they take it.

They’re shocked.

They thought they were doing okay. Holding it together. Managing.

That’s because they have become accustomed to ‘just okay’ living.

But when they actually look at the questions, they realize: They don’t understand the disease. They’re taking full responsibility for their loved one’s life. They’ve completely abandoned their own recovery. They’re not in community. They feel terrible most of the time. And they’re not living aligned with their values at all.

One woman scored a 23.

She cried. “I had no idea I was this sick,” she said.

But here’s the beautiful part: Once you SEE it, you can change it.

You can’t fix what you can’t see.

So now you know where you are.

The question is: What are you going to do about it?

In Stop the Chaos, we don’t just diagnose the problem. We give you the roadmap out.

In my next email, I’m going to show you what that roadmap looks like and why you only need to change one thing: Everything.

More soon,
Kate

P.S. If your score was lower than you expected and you’re realizing you need help, that’s exactly what we do. Our programs give you the education, professional guidance, community, and tools you need to recover from the family disease of addiction. Visit tippingpointrecovery.com to learn more.