“She ‘just’ needs to….”
UGH. It’s all I hear these days. My wife/husband/daughter/son/etc. “just” needs to do x, y, z.
Trust me, I get the frustration of someone who isn’t willing to do what you know they should do, but here is the hard truth:
They have a brain disorder.
Brain. Dis-Order. Brain. Out of order.
Of course, they do need to be willing to do something. That is true. So, what ACTUALLY creates a willingness to get sober?
Let me bring you inside my office for a minute…
A new client of mine recently sent me the text message below. She just joined our family recovery membership. She is the sister of an addict.
My friends, THIS is what creates willingness for your loved one to get sober.
Most people think…
They “just” need to get a job.
They “just” need to get rid of that girlfriend/boyfriend.
They “just” need to get their sh*t together.
They “just” need to stop.
Wouldn’t your life be so much better if THEY just did the things you wanted them to do? Seriously though, wouldn’t all of us be happier if those around us didn’t keep doing frustrating things?
But being able to do this list of things above is only simple for people who DO NOT have a brain disorder.
(Side bar—I think we need to stop calling this addiction and start calling it what it really is: a brain disorder)
This text message from my client is what will create the willingness your loved one ACTUALLY NEEDS. You can manufacture willingness. How do I know this?
I see it Every. Single. Day.
So, consider this an invitation to stop spiraling in the chaos that someone’s addiction is creating in your life. An invitation to learn how to create the willingness and end the “wanting someone to change so you can feel better” cycle you are in and let me help you feel better first SO THEY will change!
That’s what happens when you start to create change. Even baby steps.
They have to change if you change. It’s the law of cause and effect.
Now, let’s go!
P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about the programs we offer at Tipping Point™ and how we can support you, let’s chat.
P.P.S. My client references in her text, “Why doesn’t the world know about you and this?” To which I replied: Because in order to offer this to the world, I need a strong foundation, a super strong and big team, and all hands on deck to really help more. I won’t drop anyone, so growing carefully and mindfully is my mantra.