100% of the time addiction divides, compartmentalizes, denies and hides. And far too many times….it kills. There is no other illness or disorder that lies like addiction does. Therefore, it makes no sense that the one who is sick (and often lying, denying or justifying) is the person calling the shots. One of the reasons we see the cycle perpetuate is because the person who needs the help convinces everyone around them that they don’t need or want help. The family circles around and around this lie and it usually doesn’t end well.
The families who find Recovery Conversations tell us “WE HAD NO IDEA WHAT TO DO”.
We are here to help you with 3 things:
• Learn what’s really going on, the truth of addiction, as told by the recovering addict
• Know what to do (and what not do) to help your person
• Start to put the pieces of your life, and your family, back together
How We Can Help
What is Recovery Conversations & Who Can Attend
Anyone may attend whether you are in recovery yourself or you are a family member of someone.
Recovery Conversations will be formed as a non profit 501c3 organization in early 2019.
FREE Recovery Conversations Meetings
We hold weekly virtual meetings that are open to the public, registration is required.
Recovery Coaching & Intervention Services
We provide services for individuals struggling with substance use disorder, their family and friends who loves them and the facilities who provide services for them. We offer training, consulting and recovery coaching. Our menu of services is growing – our current services are listed below. You can begin with us wherever you are comfortable and in whatever way you find the most support. If you are unsure where to begin, we recommend you book a FREE 30 minute consultation to explore your needs with us.
Free 30 Minute Consultation– schedule a 30 minute free session to explore what kind of support, services and education feel like the best fit.
Courses– Currently we are developing course modules that will be easy to access at your own pace.
Private Family Education & Strategy Session– Either in your home or via video conference, Kate Duffy will meet with you and your family privately for consultation, education, support and to discuss your options and the best next step. Families often report this being the “best time and money spent”. Highly valuable and results driven, you will leave this meeting with a plan. To schedule yours please submit a request.
Intervention– It is our belief that everyone who struggles with SUD deserves to be told the truth. That truth is “we love you, we will not watch you self destruct, we believe in you, please accept help”. The intervention process is healing in and of itself for a family system, it works the majority of the time and provides a structure for the compassion, boundaries and love that is most often missing in the addiction cycle families endure. Learn more about intervention by scheduling a complimentary inquiry call. Recovery Coaching – for those who are committed to a path of recovery. Working with a recovery coach in early recovery can help strengthen family trust, improve family communication, build confidence, navigate services and assist in learning to manage work/life balance. Working with a coach further along the recovery path is an incredible way to take a deeper look at all areas of your life and how to apply a new intention to any area of life.
Recovery for Families– We offer a 3 month intensive coaching program for families who wish to go deeper into their own recovery path and who recognize that having a strong personal program makes for a stronger family. This program runs all year long with a consistent group of families committed to their recovery. For more information visit our Family Recovery Coaching Page. In addition, it is recommended family members attend Al-anon, Nar-anon, ACA and other family groups.
As stated by Earl Hightower, nationally recognized interventionist and motivational speaker, “If you have been in close proximity to an alcoholic or addict for any amount of time and you have been exposed to the disease of addiction, you are sick”. Family members report feeling neglected, codependent, angry, betrayed. The whole system is off balance and those family members who see the situation as an opportunity for personal growth and their own individual healing and wellness, everyone wins.
What Can I Expect
The opposite of addiction is connection. Our programs build on the healthy connection we all seek. We ask you to bring your whole self to our groups, retreats and trainings, as a judgement free zone allows your deepest healing and growth to occur.
We continually ask our clients what they would like to share with others…
- I instantly wondered why no one had ever told me these things
- We felt held
- Kate’s transparency is raw
- I was so happy for my (adult) children to have the support, to not feel they were crazy
- I was blown away by what I learned
- I wanted to put my face on a billboard and scream “Kate Duffy is a badass….this support has changed my life”
- When the group stopped, I really missed it
- I made so many great new friends who will be friends for life
- I finally felt I wasn’t alone
- Kate has been on all sides of the table so she never judges
All of our interventions begin with a Family Education & Strategy Session to understand your family situation, needs and make the best recommendation. There is always hope. We welcome your call. We are trained in the Johnson Method by Earl Hightower of Hightower Associates and CFI Method by Mike Wilson of Baystate Recovery. In addition, Kate uses her experience meeting over 170 individuals immediately after overdosing at the Emergency Department in Fitchburg, MA.
“It’s so hard to shake these enabling habits that had become my way of being without a community and Kate to guide me. I love this community and honestly can’t imagine my life without everyone here.” – A Mom
“We are all working with Kate as a family unit while he is in treatment. Kate has taught us how important it is that we recover as a family unit. We had no idea how important our role is in this and that when he comes home, he needs to come home to a family that supports and understands ‘recovery language’.”
“I was at a point in my life where I thought I had to put up with living with an alcoholic and I felt that I was dying slowly. I had lost myself to his addiction. Today, I pause when agitated, I pause when I’m needing to make a decision and today, I have a decision-making framework. We are all sober!” – A Wife
“She ‘just’ needs to….”
UGH. It’s all I hear these days. My wife/husband/daughter/son/etc. “just” needs to do x, y, z.
Trust me, I get the frustration of someone who isn’t willing to do what you know they should do, but here is the hard truth:
They have a brain disorder.
Brain. Dis-Order. Brain. Out of order.
Of course, they do need to be willing to do something. That is true. So, what ACTUALLY creates a willingness to get sober?
Let me bring you inside my office for a minute…
A new client of mine recently sent me the text message below. She just joined our family recovery membership. She is the sister of an addict.
My friends, THIS is what creates willingness for your loved one to get sober.
Most people think…
They “just” need to get a job.
They “just” need to get rid of that girlfriend/boyfriend.
They “just” need to get their sh*t together.
They “just” need to stop.
Wouldn’t your life be so much better if THEY just did the things you wanted them to do? Seriously though, wouldn’t all of us be happier if those around us didn’t keep doing frustrating things?
But being able to do this list of things above is only simple for people who DO NOT have a brain disorder.
(Side bar—I think we need to stop calling this addiction and start calling it what it really is: a brain disorder)
This text message from my client is what will create the willingness your loved one ACTUALLY NEEDS. You can manufacture willingness. How do I know this?
I see it Every. Single. Day.
So, consider this an invitation to stop spiraling in the chaos that someone’s addiction is creating in your life. An invitation to learn how to create the willingness and end the “wanting someone to change so you can feel better” cycle you are in and let me help you feel better first SO THEY will change!
That’s what happens when you start to create change. Even baby steps.
They have to change if you change. It’s the law of cause and effect.
Now, let’s go!
P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about the programs we offer at Tipping Point™ and how we can support you, let’s chat.
P.P.S. My client references in her text, “Why doesn’t the world know about you and this?” To which I replied: Because in order to offer this to the world, I need a strong foundation, a super strong and big team, and all hands on deck to really help more. I won’t drop anyone, so growing carefully and mindfully is my mantra.
“When I mind my own business and stay in my lane, I recover. When I mind someone else’s business and go into their lane, I am blocking their potential to learn and grow. Kate works in such a unique way and I love all that I am learning.” – A Dad
“When I took my son to the emergency room to try to get him into a program, the nurse was unable to find a bed. Someone called Kate Duffy and within minutes of her arrival she had calmed me down, gotten my son centered and found a bed! It was like an angel showed up with a miracle.”
“When I first called Kate, I referred to my brother as a lying manipulative jerk! I now can comfortably say that my love for him is unconditional yet my support of him is conditional. I will not support his addiction in any way. I feel so free and he is in treatment.” – A Sister
If your loved one lost their hearing, would you learn sign language to be able to communicate with them? Of course you would.
Recovery Conversations empower, educate, support and heal. Hear what our clients say.
95% of the families who engage in our program, on a regular basis, report their loved one embraces a path of recovery
More than a support group, this curriculum provides a dramatic shift in how to effectively engage someone with SUD. Born out of the desire to bring family members into the light (the truth behind the addiction), this program was developed over a 2 year period and through hundreds of recovery conversations during intervention work in the emergency department and in family homes.