Today I want to talk about mistakes.
I have a lot of experience with mistakes. I have a lot of feelings about them too.
Recently some of those feelings came up when I got a text from a person telling me they had still not received the copy of my book they had pre-ordered.
I was filled with immediate dread. This feeling of, “Oh no, I messed up.”
That dread probably stems back to childhood where I would have gotten in trouble for making mistakes, which resulted in fear of mistakes as a whole.
But then this person texted again saying, “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry. I just looked and my order never went through. I’m so embarrassed. I made a mistake.”
And my first thought was, I love when people make mistakes, because then I’m okay for making mistakes.
People make mistakes.
We don’t do it on purpose. The nature of a mistake is that it’s an accident. There was a misunderstanding or we didn’t know better.
The beauty of mistakes is we can usually fix them. And we can always learn from them.
Today, I work on being okay with my mistakes.
I want to encourage you to do the same.
We all can be so hard on ourselves, especially when it comes to recovery.
Families in our programs make “mistakes” all the time. They fall back into the habit of their old loops, and I see how hard on themselves they often are for not immediately being able to flip a switch and be perfect at it.
It’s all okay.
Mistakes are part of the recovery process. They’re part of life’s process. They are a part of learning, changing, and growing.
We allow mistakes at Tipping Point Recovery.
We embrace them and see them as part of the journey.
Just like with this person who was embarrassed about the pre-order mistake, we own our stuff and move on to self-forgiveness.
We talk about the things that are uncomfortable.
We talk about how we feel about the things we’re trying to control around us.
We talk about how we feel on the inside.
That’s recovery.
All of it is safe to bring here.
So please make mistakes and love yourself anyway!
Please share them, learn from them, and most of all, forgive yourself for them.
If you’re curious to learn more of what we do at Tipping Point Recovery, grab my book Dear Family, Why Your Loved One Won’t Accept Help and How to Help Them Anyway. It won’t stop you from making mistakes, but it will be a resource for you on your journey as you learn from them.
Share with me below: how do you feel about mistakes? Do you fear them the way I did as a kid? Are you working on embracing them the way I am now?
Sometimes I feel a little pit in my stomach when I make a mistake. Growing up in a very “judgey” extended family who gossiped or teased when someone made a mistake was hard. I never wanted to bring attention to myself for fear of being judged. As an adult I feel more confident and own my mistakes. I try to surround myself with people who are kind and caring.
Thank you for sharing Donna! Surrounding yourself with kindness is so important. Berenice TPR
My upbringing was strict. I had a tough Italian father who was a disciplinarian with grades, behavior, bad choices, etc. However, when it came to making a mistake he was very understanding. He would say two things: 1. You learn from your mistakes and that’s good. 2. Try to never make the same mistake twice.
I thought that was healthy. As an adult I get concerned when making a mistake at work or with my kids. But I don’t try hide them. I’m comfortable knowing I’m only human. However with my alcoholic wife it’s different. If a make a mistake regarding us she’ll let me know and rather than talk it through I just become more resentful as a result of all the hell I’ve been through the past 3 years emotionally, physically and financially