One thing I cannot stand is the common myth perpetuated that there’s nothing people can do to help their loved one.
PLEASE stop saying this.
It leaves families feeling helpless, it leaves treatment centers missing out on a powerful resource, and it leaves the ones struggling to just get worse with no help.
While it is true you cannot force someone to do something, what I know from my experience working with hundreds of addicts and their families is that there is a TON you can do to change the course of your loved one’s addiction. There is a lot you can do that is helpful and a whole lot you want to be sure you are not doing that may be unhelpful.
We built a whole framework around this. It comes down to these core components:
Learn the Truth
Understand what addiction is, how and why it’s happening and what is really going on underneath the addiction. By getting beyond what you see happening and behind the feelings you have about it, you can offer a real solution and provide your loved one the absolute best chance for success.
Find Your People
No one recovers alone. Addiction is a family disease, which means you need to recover too. Having a community of others around you who are on a similar path provides a support network that will strengthen, encourage, and inspire you as you learn to walk a recovery path. It’s not easy to recover, but it’s far easier than staying in pain and fear, and your people will hold you until you can stand on your own in empowered recovery.
Have Resources at the Ready
We teach you to do everything differently, and changing the way you think, communicate, and respond can be uncomfortable and scary, but it is so much easier with a guide. It’s easier to cook an unfamiliar dish if you have a recipe to follow, right? Having tools, resources, and expert guidance gives you the necessary steps along the way to not only make the necessary changes, but to stick with them.
By utilizing these critical components, families shift the dynamic surrounding their loved ones’ addiction.
It’s like you’ve been pulled into a dance with your loved one for so long, and so far their addiction has been the one leading the steps, keeping you both in an endless loop of chaos, frustration, and fear.
Through this framework, you are able to change your steps of the dance. When you take the lead and start dancing in a different direction, eventually your loved one begins to change too.
I know because I see it again and again with our members.
Tomorrow I’ll share the most important thing you can do to get yourself started.
It may sound counterintuitive, especially if you’re new to it…but trust me on this one, it’s a game changer.
See you tomorrow,
P.S. While you’re waiting for the next post, I’d love to know what stage of recovery your loved one is in. Comment below and let me know, are they…?
a) In active addiction
b) In treatment
c) Working a recovery program
d) In and out of treatment