Blog
The One Question That Changes Every Hard Conversation
Most families come to me asking some version of the same question. How do I get them to stop? It is the wrong question. Not because it does not matter, but because it is not yours to answer. You cannot answer it. And spending your energy there is exactly what keeps...
When Did the Dear Family Method Really Begin?
I get asked this a lot: how long has Tipping Point Recovery been around? Honestly, it depends on which moment you count. There was 2015 and 2016, when I was working on-call in the ER doing overdose interventions, watching families get left in the dark while the...
Why You Don’t Need Them Saying “I’m an Addict”
Somewhere along the way, most families pick up the same belief. "The first step is getting them to admit they're an addict." So they wait for that admission. They push for it. They think if they can just get their loved one to say the word out loud, everything else...
She Called Me Into Her Office to Ask About My Data
A number of years ago, the Chief Medical Officer of a large insurance company called me, she wanted to meet. She had been watching the outcomes of people in my program and wanted to know why the people we were working with were recovering at such a high rate. I...
She Lied to Her Mom About the Bed
I was one year sober and working as a case manager in a detox when I met a girl I'll call Amanda. First, a quick distinction that most families don't know: detox is not treatment. Detox is medical stabilization, keeping someone safe through withdrawal, usually five to...
What If I Set a Boundary and They Die?
There's a question I hear more than almost any other, and it's usually said quietly, almost like the person is afraid to say it out loud. But we don’t talk about surface stuff here at Tipping Point so the truth always surfaces. "What if I set a boundary and they...
Celebrating a Chip by Drinking
I want to tell you about a moment early in my recovery that most people would assume was a good one. I was somewhere around 10 days sober. I went to a meeting and I got a chip. When I walked up to get the chip, I could feel that people were going to clap. People...
My First Boundary
Here's the story of the very first boundary I ever set many years ago. Prior to this experience, I hadn't heard the word boundary and let's just say my actions were often based on what I thought others wanted. Unconsciously. I was married and my three kids were young...
Seven Times, Not Seven Failures
For a long time I told myself a story that isn't actually true. I said I tried treatment seven times and failed six of them. I don't tell it that way anymore. What actually happened is I needed seven exposures before recovery could progress. Not six failures and one...